When you are powerless

Trust in the lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways submit to him,

and he will make your paths straight.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

I have been going through a tough time of lately, some of the things that disturbed me was when people started to take important decisions in my life, when my career seemed stagnant, my eagerness to pursue my goal at the cost of my job and most importantly I felt so powerless to change anything concerning me. I was surprised by the way I mumbled and grumbled about what’s happening to me. Well, mostly it’s the battle in my mind that sometimes resulted in spitting venom on people around me. Cruel. right? But, most of us lose our cool and go berserk. We are not actually angry with our close ones, but we do it out of frustration to show them that we are not fine. I was sure if these emotions lasted in me, I would end up getting depressed. I thought I shouldn’t give in to it and that’s when this verse from the Bible came handy.

The verse from Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding“. Trusting God is not so easy, especially when you see things falling apart; but it’s not impossible too, why I say this because the following line says “and lean not on your own understanding“. The problem arises when we start trusting our own understanding by merely looking at how things are going around and unfortunately we believe what we see. When we start believing what we see it’s so obvious that we stop trusting God. So what I learnt here is – to stop believing my understanding about a situation because it’s only one side to a story and mostly an exaggerated version of the real condition that runs in my mind. When I realised that I am not wise enough to deal with it, when I knew that I reached a point where I couldn’t help myself, it became much much easier for me to trust God with all my heart.

The perks of trusting God wholeheartedly is abundant, for when we allow him to handle our current situation, he gives us hope for a better future. He gives us assurance that nothing can go beyond his control. Eventually, we end up committing our plans, goals and interests to him to seek his will, that brings us to the next verse- Proverbs 3:6, which says “in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” God knows it’s your life and he cares about it more than you do, so he also cares about your interests and goals too. After all he’s our creator, who knows us better than the creator?

Having done all that’s said in these verses, how is my life now?

People still try to take important decisions concerning my life, my career is still stagnant, I am still keen on pursuing my goals but I don’t feel powerless anymore. The condition is same but I am not the same person that I was before, my perspective towards my life changed, I don’t mumble or grumble anymore rather I learnt to thank God for all that I have and slowly I realised once upon a time I prayed to God for a job that I have today, so why should I murmur when it’s not fine. People make decisions for me, but if not God, who is going to make it work? So, I just thank God for keeping better blessings in store for me though I can’t see it.

There is still turmoil around, but that does not disturb my peace and that does not stop me from foreseeing a prosperous future with him.

 

 

Renew your hope

Wake up with a heavy heart,

With concerns that’s tearing you apart.

Head filled with questions that brings sorrow,

About the intimidating tomorrow.

 

Casting them unto my lord’s hands I feel light,

I empty my heart and now ready to take up the fight.

As I wipe my tears and get up,

Courage and hope is refilled in my cup.